One Set of Footprints in the Forest: Let a Trooper Carry You Towards a Better Life

_DJT1349This Saturday I performed One Set of Footprints in the Forest: Let a Trooper Carry You Towards a Better Life at the I.AM Enough festival held by the Intergenerational Arts Movement at the JEH Macdonald house in Thornhill, outside Toronto.

As you know, the Emperor has asked all of us troopers to provide peace and order throughout the galaxy by any means necessary.

I decided that I would use the means of providing inner peace, which would hopefully percolate outwards and create outward peace as well.

I took individual participants for a walk around the wooded lands of the festival, where we talked one-on-one. I listened to them speak about who they are, their challenges, problems, and aspirations.  Then, lightened by the experience, I carried them on my back for the last leg of our journey together.

In this way, when they looked back, they could see that there was only one set of footprints behind us, for I had been carrying them.

Check out these pictures of me walking and talking with the participants, and then carrying them the last leg of the journey.  Also pictured: the sign where people waited for their turn, and a group shot of all the attendees.


Continued Adventures in TK Art <3er!

As a lover of art, I, Corporal Outis, decided to check out a series of photographs in the Robert B. Menschel Gallery in the Schine Student Center.  Since I know that not only are you, my fans, lovers of art, but also lovers of looking at me looking at art, I am happy to present some photos of me doing just that.

Photos by Joe Booth, on April 22, 2017.

TK Tea Reader (celebrity version, for the Online Performance Art Festival)

I performed TK Tea Reader for the Online Performance Art Festival on October 22.  The way the festival works is that each artist streams their performance to the festival’s website, live, for one particular hour over the three days of the festival.  I had Saturday from 3:00-4:00pm (Eastern US time).

Originally I was going to read the future of participants who set up appointments with me ahead of time, by drinking tea with them over Skype, and then reading their tea leaves.

However, Corporal Outis can admit when he makes a mistake, and in this case I didn’t get the call for participants out in time.  So, instead of working with regular folks who set up appointments, I decided to read the futures of some prominent people.

I drank four cups of tea, and read the futures of comedian Larry Wilmore, historian Doris Kearns Goodwin, cartoonist  Ryan North, and journalist Fareed Zakaria.

You can see the results here on the festival’s website.

Skip until 3’30” into the video (it started streaming/recording before my time slot actually started). There’s also about 15 minutes of video that somehow isn’t there, due to some kind of glitch-intersectionality between my wifi and the website.  So, not a perfect audio/visual experience!  But, there’s still plenty of premonition gold in there, so please check it out!

Here are some pictures as well, which feature me preparing the tea (including a touch of honey!), drinking it through a straw, and reading the tea leaves’ patterns in the cup:

I was happy to offer these tasseographical truths to the celebrities and hope that they can benefit from them.

I plan to do this performance again in the future with everyday people.  In the meantime, if you would like me to tell your future by reading your tea leaves, I would be happy to set up an individual Skype appointment at your convenience.  Just email me at and we can work out a time.

Once again, I was happy to have an opportunity to help out the peaceful people of the galaxy however I can, whether through my therapeutic skills, by keeping an eye on dangerously experimental artists, or now, through my oracular vision.

TK Tea Reader at the Online Performance Art Festival

Hello!  I am going to perform TK Tea Reader on Saturday, October 22 at the Second Online Performance Art Festival.

My time slot is from 6:00-7:00 pm UTC (GMT), which is the same as 2:00-3:00 pm Eastern Time in the USA.

I am looking for people to sign up to participate!  Just email me at, or comment below, and you can join me in this performance.

If you sign up, we will drink tea together over Skype.  When we are done drinking, I will tell your future by reading your tea leaves!  It’s that simple.  Who doesn’t want their future told by a Stormtrooper over the internet??!?

Just shoot me an email to reserve a slot!

Sunlight Is the Best Disinfectant: Day 4

This is the fourth and last day of Sunlight Is the Best Disinfectant.  Tomorrow I have to return to my land of origin (far, far away), so I am trusting you all to police yourselves and make sure that there is no rebellion or smashing of the state going on for the last couple days of Encuentro!

However, for this last day, we have a giant, record-breaking number of performances for SITBD.  From 10:00-2:00, I surveilled most of the Memory and Violence street actions, and from 5:00-7:00 I returned to DETUCH to see more indoor performances, for a total of 16 performances for the day!  Since there were so many I’m going to write shorter security analyses for each one tonight.

I’ll start in chronological order in the morning.  First there was Christine Brault’s Weaving Memories in Londres 38.  According to the site she was weaving a body bag with seaweed, although honestly it didn’t look like a body bag, so perhaps it ended up being something else.  In any case, I think this kind of alternate-materials research is a good capitalist strategy and a welcome approach under the state.

Outside was Celia del Pilar Páez Canro’s  For-the-Words.  She was writing graffiti on the walls of the building.  This is a pretty cut and dry case: graffiti is an act of rebellion, and I am no fan of the Rebellion.  This is definitely not an acceptable act and the state should investigate further.

Complejo Conejo then led us from Londres 38 to the Antonio Varas Theater with their Exterminated like Mice.  They had cute mice hats on, and were reading newspapers that described the killing of people like mice.  Their hats were white and all the same, and as usual I am in favor of both white and all-the-same styles of costuming.  What I think was most interesting is that they were leading the rest of the crowd, not like mice, but like lemmings, bringing them surely to their doom, that doom being a life of chaos and rebellion as an artist, aka the theater.  So thumbs up for the hats, and thumbs down for secretly being lemming-leaders.

Rodrigo Barreda’s  Design to End Torture (DTT) was on display outside the Antonio Varas Theater.  I was a little far away to hear, but I believe he was trying to involve the crowd in plans for reducing the use of torture.  Speaking for the Empire, we stopped using torture a long time ago and now solely use Interrogation Droids instead, so I think we’re off the hook there. Plus, he gave out free buttons, and as explained in an earlier post, free stuff=good review!

Desvio Coletivo’s Weddings involved a bunch of people fondling and kissing each other in various combinations. This is all fine, but more importantly, the wedding participants all either wore all white, like me, or all black, like my boss.  So once again, a smart costuming choice for the win!

Coletivo Teatro da Margem’s Bodies that Remain consisted of them drawing chalk outlines around people who pretended to collapse on the ground.  They walked us to Plaza de Armas. It was a disconcerting performance; I felt the whole time that someone was going to think the people were really hurt or dead and call the cops, and with the amount of chaos-agents in our midst, that’s not what we needed! But, it worked out well.  No free stuff or black or white costumes here, but no need: stormtroopers need to know how to draw body outlines as part of our line of work, so this was good job training for them.  Hopefully I’ll see some of these artists on the trooper team some day.

Finally, at the park, we saw Natascha de Cortillas Diego’s Chile Kneads its Bread.  This was on a circular open stage.  She did a variety of choreographed moves.  But more saliently, she wore all white (once again, great costuming idea) and she made a white circle of some kind of powder on the ground, and as I pointed out a couple days ago, this seems to be a new trend. No points for engaging in the trend (why not blue powder? fuschia powder? I mean, I’m not one to go against white, but let’s free up our powder choices folks!), but she does get some goodwill for the outfit.

At night I went to DETUCH and saw a number of other performances and installations.  Rodrigo Arenas y Manuel Tzoc’s The Reestablishment of Abya Yala was a theater piece, so I stayed outside. From what I could see before and after, they had a projection screen and a table.  Since I don’t really know its political implications, I’m just going to decide which way to treat it (supportive or rebellious towards the state).  And, since it’s better to be safe than sorry, I’ll just assume rebellious.  So watch out for some follow-up surveillance in the future!


Luna Acosta’s Sovereignty/Necropolitics involved sucking up blood from a bowl into a pipette, which was then dripped slowly into dirt.  There was also a wild soundtrack in the background.  On the one hand, looked at from the point of view of medical training, this seems rather useless, since most hurt people want new blood, not the removal of their existing blood.  Also, using individual pipettes is rather slow compared to other technology.  So I can’t recommend this as part of boot camp medical training.  But, once again, white costume!!!  So I will recommend that she study blood transfer technology and goals more in depth if she wants to join the legion of troopers, but give her the benefit of the doubt for her loyalty since she picked out the white costume.

Roberta Nascimento and Maria do Sol’s We Warm Up Hearts in Cold Blood was probably the highlight of my evening.  They set up a tube that dripped blood from one woman’s arm, through a tube, and onto a glass heart, which itself then melted into a bowl.  We need our troopers to be cold-blooded, so double thumbs up here for this excellent process, I will recommend it to all the troopers in my company as soon as I return home!

I’m not sure of the full story of Carlos Martiel’s Pit.  When I first checked on it, he was shoveling dirt from some piles into bags. The next time I went in, the full bags were just sitting in there, and no one was there.  So I don’t know if something else happened in-between.  But, we had to do this kind of Cool Hand Luke “dig a hole and then fill it in” style of training in Basic Trooper Camp, so I can sympathize.  It’s an authoritarian thing to make someone do, so it’s OK by me.

Violeta Luna y Stela Fischer’s For Those Women Who Are No Longer Here was an installation, rather than a performance, at least from what I saw.  Even we troopers mourn the dead (although not so much in the case of the clones since they’re easy to re-grow), so it’s also OK by me.

Barak adé Soleil’s turttle // ele’fant: a solo performance diptych was more of a theater piece so I wasn’t in there too much.  It involved both an introduction and a choreographed movement piece.  From an authoritarian point of view, I can’t endorse this.  We believe that everything should be utilitarian, that everything leads towards our Empire’s goals.  So something like this, which is built on aesthetics, is unnecessary in a perfect state.  We must not let ourselves be distracted!

Ernesto Orellana’s TOO MUCH SEXUAL FREEDOM WILL TURN YOU INTO TERRORISTS is a clear warning, and now that I have seen the piece, it seems all-too-real in its implications.  In it, a couple naked guys danced around, with one of them drawing something in a square (maybe breasts?).  Then they lit an Encuentro poster on fire.  It seems to be that they were showing how the sexual freedom enabled by their nudity caused them to go wild and burn stuff.  Now that we know this is how this works, we shall have to take steps in the future to keep it from happening.  Otherwise, I am going back and forth on the whole “burning the poster” thing.  On the one hand, Encuentro does seem to involve more than a few artists who have embraced the Rebellion, which is no good. So burning its poster seems good in turn, so that no other people will come and be seduced by its iniquity (I think “evil” would be too strong a term). On the other hand, burning stuff is a direct act of Rebellion itself, and thus requires punishment.

I think that Isabel Torres y Yeny Barría’s Minka never happened, although it could be that I missed it.

Finally, Samuel Ibarra’s A Transactional Breath was an installation with a soundtrack.  Many random objects were covered with white powder.  Once again I am left questioning the meaning of this white powder, used in so many performances.  But I think this will have to be a mystery for now, and I will investigate its implications another time.  Otherwise, I saw a soldier on the ground as one of the objects. I assume this was a message of being in support of the state, so of course I support it in turn.

And last but not least, I have here the many, many photographs I took of people who took my own picture, which they presumably did as a show of support for my ethics of peace through order.  Their numbers have only grown, so I am proud to be the leader of this legion of photo-supporters!  (I have to note that this is by no means all the photos of photo-takers, some of the photos didn’t turn out for one reason or another.)

Overall, looking back at the past few days, there were clearly many rebellious, state-smashing performances at Encuento (grafitti, nekkidness), but there were encouraging state-supporting decisions and strategies as well, from dressing in white clothing to support me, to using state weapons and strategies to keep the people down.  I hope, however, that the artists over the next couple days when I am gone will take the lessons from these blog posts to heart and change any unfortunate state-undermining performances into good, wholesome, state-supporting performances.

As I mentioned before, if you have any pictures of me, please send me a copy, either here, or by email to, or to my Facebook page,

Sunlight Is the Best Disinfectant: Day 3

Here we are with the third day of performances that I’ve surveilled at Encuentro.  And what a day it was!

Today’s performances were all at DETUCH, the theater department at the University of Chile.  There was the Lonely Painter Project’s Make; José Pepe Álvarez Colón’s La Mamutcandungo (fragment); Orgy Punk/GRUPO D3 CHOK3’s  Tear Gas DemocracyHonor Ford Smith (with Anique Jordan, Hannah Town Cultural Group, Kara Springer, Camille Turner & Nicosia Shakes)’s: Song for the Beloved; Keijaun Thomas’s Distance Is Not SeparationKarina Prudencio’s Kalapurca; and Julio Pantoja and Adriana Guerrero’s Tucumán Kills Me. Action #3 “The Event”.

I’ll start with a highlight: Make.  I observed four performers making bread, and acting out various symbolic roles as well as technical food-preparation roles.  There was often singing while they worked.  Two basic observations: the singing was really great.  Even us stormtroopers don’t have hearts of stone!  Two: at the end, one of the artists gave me one of the pieces of bread.  A bribe to help ensure a good review?  Of course.  But, as a member of the State, I am as corrupt as the next authority (I keep forgetting if I’m supposed to say that out loud?), so it worked!  I am happy to have my bread, and because of that, I fully endorse everything the Lonely Painter Project did.  They’ve got my stamp of pro-State approval.  It was also nice of them to give bread out to everyone else so their bribe to me wouldn’t look totally obvious.

Even if they didn’t bribe me, one reason I approve of them is that they did everything out in the open where I could easily spy on them, as all artists should.  Some of the other artists were in closed theaters or rooms, making life difficult for this erstwhile surveillant.  One good example was Song for the Beloved, which had some guards working the door, making sure people obeyed the rules–a sentiment with which I am entirely in agreement. The guards seemed very sweet on the surface, but you could tell that underneath they were rock-hard roustabouts! So instead of going in, I just took this shot from the doorway.  This leaves me out in the cold when it comes to any of the specific rebellious dangers present in this work, but I think we can assume that it must be dangerous indeed to have ferocious bouncers working the doorway, keeping it secret from the State’s prying eye.


I also didn’t see much of Mamutcandungo, which was in a traditional theater-stage setting.  What I did see was a projected screen of text–possibly another attempt at sending a subliminal code.  The only good thing about this is that perhaps it means that yesterday’s projected code (del Re’s) failed to work, and so this was the second attempt.  There was also somebody on stage but I couldn’t make him out.  I checked out the theater later to see the aftermath, and there was tons of white powder on stage–as there also was in a few other performances tonight.  Perhaps this white powder was some sort of intentional link between all the performances–but if so, what is it? A subconscious desire for cocaine? For a snowy winter? For shiny white armor like mine?

Keijaun Thomas’s performance was much easier to get a view of, since there were three sets of doors open all the time.  At least he’s not trying to hide anything.  As for the performance itself, I condemn it wholeheartedly.  First of all, he didn’t give me any free stuff!  Secondly, it was pretty much the definition of artist as agent of chaos, with Thomas dancing naked, or in wild costumes and make-up, sowing disorder wherever he went with his words and deeds. This is exactly what cannot be countenanced by the State.  Everything must have its place, and that can’t happen if people just act however they want, or think whatever they want.  I do appreciate the fact that he had a ton of brown paper bags laid out in a grid: it shows that he has an innate sympathy for order, which, if nurtured, could grow into something the State can use after all.

Kalapurca seemed pretty sedate by comparison.  From what I could see (there were several performances going on at this point and I had  to shuttle back and forth between them), the artist basically sat in a traditional costume in front of a projected backdrop.  Given that the traditional is connected to conservatism, which is in turn connected to protecting the State, that’s all well and good. I’m sure there’s a seditious message in there though–perhaps she is trying to advocate for sit-ins? If so, I can hardly support that, how much more seditious could you get?  Also, I understand this was also food-related, but I didn’t get any free stuff! Perhaps others did when I wasn’t there, but what about me?!?! Artists–learn from the lessons of these performances–make sure you’ve got free stuff, and stuff in a grid, if you want a good review!

“The Event” was another theatrical setting, which again isn’t as amenable to spying as the other locations.  From what I saw, there was a slideshow of projected images and a box of some kind.  Perhaps with this piece we can start a new initiative–for any of you who saw it, write in and tell me why you think it was dangerous to the State and symptomatic of artists’ tendency towards disruption. By having you come up with the answer, instead of me spoonfeeding it to you, it proves that you have been listening closely and are truly processing the information. You can add comments to this blog post, add comments to my Facebook page, or email me at  Speaking of which, if you’ve taken any pictures of me this week, send me a copy of them, too!

Finally we end up with Tear Gas Democracy, my new favorite performance of all time.  First, there were several women in matching uniforms–of course, uniformity in uniforms is always a plus, and it leads me to believe they’re not long for the rebellion: they are happy being anonymous, the same as everyone else.  There was also a projected image of some authority figures, which is all well and good too.  But outside is where the greatness begins.  After the women stamped their brooms up and down, and a shaman-looking figure lit some circles on the ground, they lit what I assume were chili peppers, then put them out, sending billowing clouds of pepper gas all over the back courtyard, and soon throughout the entire building!  It was fantastic!  People were coughing violently outside (I’ll post video of this with the rest of the videos, next week), and even inside people were walking around with their faces covered.  Artists gassing their own audience of artists? What could be better? It was a lovely thing to see artists using a weapon and tactic of the State on the people. Plus, they caused collateral damage to the people inside the building, not just to those watching in the patio. If they’re that good at collateral damage now, imagine what they’ll be able to do as they continue to practice! These artists will hopefully continue their training at enforced audience control, and surely jobs will be waiting for them at the State.  We need  more artists like this, already transformed half-way (or more!) into becoming The Man.

There was a very supportive audience at DETUCH tonight, happy to signal their empathy for my cause of peace through military-enforced order.  Once again here are pictures of some of the people who wanted to photograph themselves with me (as a way of identifying themselves with my ethos), plus some more peace-signers who want to be clear about their support for my policies.  Also, I forgot to mention yesterday that a few helpful members of the masses helped pick up some things that I dropped, which is great because while I am an agile and elite military agent, I’m no good at bending down to pick things up.  And it happened again today: people picked up a few things for me, showing that they support what I do and want to do anything they can to help.  Best of all was a woman who had me FaceTime with her young children, at least one of whom plans to be a stormtrooper one day.  Young man, we welcome everyone to the ranks–you couldn’t choose a better profession than that of a faceless agent of the Empire!

I mentioned above that you can write in to explain why “The Event” is subversive and dangerous to the State.  But let’s extend that to tomorrow’s performance event as well: Guillermo Gomez-Pena is giving a performance at the Teatro Nacional Chileno, which like the rest of the theater pieces will be very difficult for me to spy on without being noticed, especially since it’s a stand-alone performance. So, instead of me going as Corporal Outis, I’m going to crowd-source the surveillance!  Here’s my mission to you: if you go to the performance tomorrow night, take notes afterwards, and let me know if he did anything you’d consider seditious or dangerous to the State.  Then send me your theories, and I’ll post them here the next day.  Secret Surveillers of the World, Unite!